If the priest is good looking: Why didn’t he marry?
If he is unattractive: He did not find anyone to marry!If it wears civilian clothes: he is a worldly one.
If it wears his clerical suit: he is a traditionalistic conservative.
If He does not treat to people with affection: He radiates coldness!
If he treats you nice with a smile: Careful, he has doubtful intentions!.If he has long hair: oh, these revolutionary priests!If he has short hair: HOW old fashioned!
If he remains in the parochial house: he does not visit the families.
If he starts making some visits: oh, he’s never in the parish!If he starts doing some Repairs: he’s throwing money out of the window.If he does not do it: he has everything abandoned
If he celebrates baptisms and marriages to ALL: He is not following the sacramentsIf He insists on the previous preparation: oh, he makes it so difficult for people.
If he has parochial advisers: He lets others run his lifeIf it does not have parochial advisers: he is an individualist!
If he restores anything at the parish: what came over him now?If he makes no changes: He never does anything at this parish!If his Homily takes over 20 minutes: He’s like a radio station, will never finish speaking!
If his homily is brief: he does not explain the things well.
If it speaks with strong voice: he yells too much!
If he does in natural tone: oh he can’t talk!If he touches social problems: he’s getting into politics.
If he speaks of Devotion & commitment: He’s old fashioned, get rid of him!!If he walks alone: he’s a hermit and keeps to himself
If he walks with men: aha, I think he likes men, maybe he's gay?If he walks with women: aha, bet he’s in love and soon he’ll leave the church or who knows ! ! !
If he is young: he has no experience, I will not listen to him! ! !If he is old: He should retire or move to a senior's home already!
But… if he goes away or dies: Oh he is really irreplaceable!
Father Tomas Del Valle-Reyes